Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Son | Reece's Rainbow

It's been 149 days since I have written a post; the last thing I shared was the sheer joy of meeting my son.

I spent three wonderful days with Worth. And then I handed him to a nanny, who put him in a pack-and-play, and I turned and walked out of the orphanage door, tears streaming down my face.

For many of these past 149 days I struggled to find the words to express that feeling; that emptiness. Nothing seemed quite right. So this blog fell silent.

But then, on September 16, 2016, a judge on the other side of the world declared to be true what I already felt and knew.

I am Worth's mother. He is my son. Forever.

That was the best message I have ever gotten.

And just when I thought I couldn't possibly miss that little boy any more, the hole in my mama heart grew and my empty arms felt ever heavier. My son was waiting for me. With that longing though came a hope that, before, I was afraid to feel.

I'm coming, Worth! I am forever yours, just as you are forever mine.

Love, Worth's Mama

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